Shirt Happens...
That time I gave love a chance (my personal love story)
10 years ago, I was sitting in a café scrolling through potential matches on my laptop (there were no dating apps at that time). I saw a picture of this man who had a warm, inviting smile and a twinkle in his eye. His t-shirt had some text that read “Shirt Happens”. I chuckled to myself, liked his photo and sent him a message. We started chatting about fun t-shirt slogans and our preferred cafés in Toronto. Gary introduced himself, read my profile and asked me who my favourite painter was (I was and am an art history aficionado). Turns out, by some quirk of fate, that we both admired Vermeer, a famous Dutch artist from the 17th century. Coincidence or was he just trying to please me? I like to think it was a little bit of both 😉
We texted and spoke on the phone a bit and he asked me out on a date. But I was already seeing an artist guy at the time for a few weeks and although we were not exclusive, I was very much anxiously pulled towards making it official (plus, I really believed that artists and creatives were “my type”). The chemistry was OFF THE CHARTS with this other guy. Plus, I had already decided that Gary wasn’t type (without ever having met him in person!) So I texted him and said:
“It was so lovely getting to know you a little, but the truth is I’ve met someone else and I really want to see where this relationship could possibly go. I wish you the best in finding love.”
Gary wrote back “Look, I understand your intention to meet someone…and it looks like you’ve achieved that. I am happy for you. Please remember this: You are a very special person, and so my wish for you is that you do not settle for anything less than what you deserve.”
As I put down the phone, I became so moved by his words. He didn’t have to say that. In fact, he didn’t have to say anything at all (I hadn’t even met him in person!). As it happened, The next few weeks with the artist guy was a rollercoaster of high and low emotions but none of the stable commitment and clear communication I was looking for. I ended up being ghosted and in the end, I was relieved that this situationship ended. Instead of being heartbroken, I became so grounded and I was now clear on what I wanted and needed from a man. And I wasn’t afraid to ask for it.
I reached out to Gary and said “My other relationship has ended. Would you still like to meet me?”
Fast forward to today, we’ve been together for 10 years and married for 7. What I treasure about our love story is that my warm, intelligent and empowered partner kept the door open for me to walk through again. I am conscious of the fact that he helped me open my eyes to what matters more than artistic “types” or chemistry in relationships. Our values and commitment for our future are aligned and that’s what matters the most.
Cheers to another 10 years of love, laughter and healthy grounded love. I desire the same for you all, my community.
